When I worked as a corporate event planner, the closures of e-mails were always very straightforward and professional. Regards, Sincerely or a good old fashioned Thank You, followed by a comma and a name. No casualness. No smiley faces. God help you – no exclamation points.
My time in the entertainment industry was less formal and more EXCITED!! Lots of exclamation points – usually one per project!!!!!!!! “LIFE IS GREAT AND I HAVE EVERYTHING TOGETHER!!!” surrounded by links to personal websites with an assortment of xoxoxos since everyone loves everyone in show biz. Regards was replaced with Best or Talk Soon. Less formal. More transparent and looking for work.
Owning a yoga studio brought me e-mails with closures I never dreamed of. I’m not talking about your spiritual garden variety of Peace or Love and Light. Those I can handle. Love and Light actually makes me feel warm and fuzzy, since it reminds me of one of my favourite childhood toys, the gloworm. What I’m talking about here are spiritual e-mail closures that leave me baffled, curious or just plain giggling. And it seems to me that the more spiritually evolved a person claims to be, the more curious (insert ridiculous and often obnoxious) their closures become.
“Infinite Blessings be upon you and yours”
This whimsical little number was at the end of an e-mail demanding that I pay a studio invoice that was past due. The e-mail warned me that if there was not payment within 30 days, there would be consequences. The e-mail was then signed ‘Infinite Blessings Be Upon You and Yours’ with a name. This, my friends, is spiritual passive-aggressiveness at its finest. The classic pre-closure “consequence and threat” with a post-body “self-righteous high road”. I did what I had to do to pay the invoice, since the whole thing was an infinite pain in my ass.
“Namaste”
Personally speaking, I don’t think you should sign something Namaste unless you are fluent in Sanskrit. Otherwise, it seems pretentious and awkward. Kinda like Shakespearian actors who insist in speaking in liquid ‘U’s, even after closing night of Henry V. How about peace? Same meaning. Simple. English.
“Yours in Cosmic Consciousness”
This one is awesome. It’s Milky Way meets Freud. It came at the end of an e-mail asking me to pay lots of money for a workshop that was guaranteed to change the way I approach my yoga practice. I seriously considered it. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a part of the cosmic consciousness?
“Yours in Body, Mind and Spirit”
This one throws me in a kilt and takes me right back to Catholic school. Reading it makes me feel like I should do the sign of the cross and say Amen. It was the closure of an e-mail from someone I’d never met asking about teaching opportunities. It didn’t make me want to hire him.
“Hoping You’ll Join Me on the Path to Enlightenment”
This one is fantastic. It came after a simple e-mail. Something about wanting to rent our studio for a photo shoot. Unless the e-mail is signed by Buddha, I don’t think anyone should ever use this. Never. Ever.
And so now I find myself confused as to how I should sign my e-mails. I tried infinite peaceful blessings a couple of times, but the inauthenticity of it made me feel dirty. I tried just signing my name for a while with no closure, but it seemed far too closed and unavailable. Needless to say, I’m determined to try out different things until I find the right fit.
Jazz Hands and Glitter,
Toni Grates
Toni – Loved the article. I think you are on to something here.
Abundant Wine and Cheese,
Barbara
Jazz Hands and Glitter. That is the most awesome sign-off ever. Thanks for the giggles this morning – and thanks for an awesome blog. I always do a little happy dance when I see something from “Namaste Bitches” in my reader
Brilliant, Barbara! That’s the spirit!
Awww, thanks Kolla! Great to connect with you and thanks for taking the time to write a comment.
Love this. Your blog makes me laugh and makes me happy. Thanks! ( and I think you nailed it with Jazz Hands and Glitter.)
Oh I forgot, how about this:
Up to my elbows in baby crap, and lacking in sleep
Shauna
lol! Love it!
Love the article. Here’s the new sign off I’m using: Let’s make out sometime, Anne.
Dear Toni, This made me laugh. A lot. High Fives, Nadia
This really made me laugh so hard. Particularly Jazz Hands and Glitter, because some days I feel like that.
I use “Thanks” and “Cheers” which is cultural here and therefore I am adopting it. I could also use “Ta” instead of “Thanks” but I figure that Ta is just a bit too far for me yet.
I use Regards when I’m pissed off, though. LOL as in “Dear You, You own me a ton of rent and back payments. Pay me now before I have to go to court. Regards, Me.” So, I’m rather picky about that one.
Perhaps in the future I can use something fancy like “In Sincerest Love of French Fries, Me.”